Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Why I didn't fall into dispair when I first got diagnosed.

I imagine to an outsider observing me when I first got diagnosed with POTS, I seemed pretty pathetic.  If I walked any faster than an elderly shuffle, my heart would go so fast I would pass out. And I was only 25! I remember just standing in the middle of a hallway because I was too exhausted to take another step.

I was pissed. I had JUST graduated from dental school and I had no idea if my body would even let me make it down a hallway.

I had good reason to be upset. No one gets a debilitating illness from left field with no clear cure, and immediately goes all Pollyanna.


I also realized that if this was my lot for the time being, I didn't want to go around be angry with the world. So I did 3 things. I'll talk about the other 2 later.

1st thing was to watch and read about overcoming challenges. Sounds trite, but it was awesome for the soul. For instance, Dogtown on instant viewing Netflix totally saved me that 1st month. It's about these dogs who have bad injuries or behavior problems who get placed at a no kill shelter. And they get better! Or learn to deal with missing a leg! Or survive a brutal attack, heal and get adopted by cute families! Hurray!

If these sweet animals have a shot at healing, perhaps I do too.

(Definitely beat watching 24 where any minor character Jack Bauer encounters dies!  Cute doggies get better or imminent death and destruction? )

Exercise update:
I felt pretty icky today so I hadn't true cardio by the time my husband got home. He's pretty supportive and said he'd go down to the gym with me and we could put in 30 minutes together.

Wed is 30 minutes on the recumbent bike again, and thanks to my husband I got it done. Still felt my legs get jello-y at minute 10. By minute 23, I realized "huh, I feel as if I am on a boat." And then I realized "it appears I'm feeling dizzy." Furtively glance over to husband to see if he notices. "Good, he didn't notice." 6 minutes left.

"Slow down girl, we got this." (I talk to myself as a dualistic being when giving myself a pep talk.)

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