Why I didn't fall into dispair when I first got diagnosed.

I imagine to an outsider observing me when I first got diagnosed with POTS, I seemed pretty pathetic.  If I walked any faster than an elderly shuffle, my heart would go so fast I would pass out. And I was only 25! I remember just standing in the middle of a hallway because I was too exhausted to take another step.

I was pissed. I had JUST graduated from dental school and I had no idea if my body would even let me make it down a hallway.

I had good reason to be upset. No one gets a debilitating illness from left field with no clear cure, and immediately goes all Pollyanna.

However.


I also realized that if this was my lot for the time being, I didn't want to go around be angry with the world. So I did 3 things. I'll talk about the other 2 later.

1st thing was to watch and read about overcoming challenges. Sounds trite, but it was awesome for the soul. For instance, Dogtown on instant viewing Netflix totally saved me that 1st month. It's about these dogs who have bad injuries or behavior problems who get placed at a no kill shelter. And they get better! Or learn to deal with missing a leg! Or survive a brutal attack, heal and get adopted by cute families! Hurray!

If these sweet animals have a shot at healing, perhaps I do too.

(Definitely beat watching 24 where any minor character Jack Bauer encounters dies!  Cute doggies get better or imminent death and destruction? )


Exercise update:
I felt pretty icky today so I hadn't true cardio by the time my husband got home. He's pretty supportive and said he'd go down to the gym with me and we could put in 30 minutes together.

Wed is 30 minutes on the recumbent bike again, and thanks to my husband I got it done. Still felt my legs get jello-y at minute 10. By minute 23, I realized "huh, I feel as if I am on a boat." And then I realized "it appears I'm feeling dizzy." Furtively glance over to husband to see if he notices. "Good, he didn't notice." 6 minutes left.

"Slow down girl, we got this." (I talk to myself as a dualistic being when giving myself a pep talk.)

Allow yourself to be a beginner

In dental school, I took an elective titled "What's possible in dentistry". I figured we would be talking about all the lastest gadgets and technologies. It was actually taught by a hippy dentist who wore Birkenstocks with a toe ring.  Sometimes we rang a gong and dedicated the class to an ancestor or progenitor.  It was very zen despite its misleading title. Well, one of the session titles I found extremely valuable developing strength in any aspect of your life.

"Allow yourself to be a beginner"

As a newly graduating dentist he emphasized allowing yourself to be imperfect and a beginner at working with an assistant, getting used to the flow of a practice, or even learning where all your materials are. Change becomes much less stressful because you can give yourself a break when you don't hit perfection immediately. After all you are a beginner at this. He also suggested that when you declare yourself a beginner in an appropriate way others are much more willing to help you.

I'm a beginner at exercising with POTS. My body is weakened right now and I don't expect strength immediately.  I've never exercised with this illness before. I'm a beginner with figuring out what schedule works for me, working out on recumbent bike, and trying to keep an exercise schedule with POTS. This doesn't make me a failure, it just makes me a beginner.

Note: Isn't that seriously of cheesy? Most definitely.  Do I care? Nope. Why not? Because I feel better about myself when I change my thinking. Deal with it.

Exercise update
Monday - 30 minutes on recumbent bike

What you don't see is the resistence level of 1. Buya!

Done.
Lowest resistance possible. I pedaled a bit faster when I shot this. I was hovering around 44 rpm only because if I pedaled any slower the time paused. But I did it! Better yet, I feel like I could do it again.

Did I mention I'm on my last pair of clean socks? I'm a beginner at this!

Why this?

Tomorrow is a big day.  I'm on a mission to get my strength back.

This all started when my husband decided to do a presentation on my illness for his medical school class. In reading up on the most recent scientific articles on POTS he found this beauty. After 3 months, 53% of the POTS patients who underwent this exercise therapy no longer met the clinical criteria for POTS. That is, the change in heart rate from sitting to standing did not increase more than 30 beats per minute for the 53%.

Interesting.

Every. Single. Person. Who completed this study reported an increase in quality of life. It didn't matter how severe or mild the POTS.

The last 11 months, my body has pooped out on me. I felt like I was in a video game where my character had the wimpiest energy bar and got left behind.  I'd rather not live the rest of my life like that. If doing a graduated exercise regimen means I will feel better, then I'll do it.

So here's the deal:
MWF  recumbant bike for 30 minutes.  Start slow and with little resistance.
T/TH leg strengthening with wieghts for 30 minutes.
S/S I can relax

I'll fill you in on how things go tomorrow. In the meantime, here's some pump up music. I wanna be able to rock out at a concert again.